There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
