I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have post one night stand depression
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize