To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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