whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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