This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize