I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
