I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
