Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
