i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
