I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
