my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
