kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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