Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
