Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
