those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
