dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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