you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize