now i know why i became what i already was.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
