Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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