did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
