You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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