wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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