This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
