i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize