Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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