I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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