it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
one might say we're banned from that church
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
