Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I AM VODKA MAN
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
