Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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