Do vagina's smell?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
