he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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