Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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