i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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