Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Randomize
