well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
