Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
