and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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