...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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