i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
