you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
