The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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