i barfeds in our rink
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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