Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
