And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
