It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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