I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
