Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
