I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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