what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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