I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
