i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
splinters make it hard to masturbate
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize