i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
