Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
