i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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