idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
