I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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