I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
