Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
