I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
