Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
