somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
