at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize