Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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